Stress – a personal reflection

Having been through what I would describe as my most difficult year in 2025, losing my partner of many years, I have reflected on the impact it has had on myself, family and people around us. Entering into a new year, it felt like the ideal time to reflect on what I did to help myself and things that might help others.

Suffering stress/trauma can be caused by many situations, ranging from major life changes (bereavement, divorce, job loss) to work pressures (including bullying), financial worries and internal factors (perfectionism, negative thinking and past trauma).

Whatever the stress, the physical and mental results can be the same. The body automatically goes into survival mode, the ‘fight-or-flight’ response when it perceives a threat, resulting in an increased heart rate, tense muscles and intensified senses. If a stress is ongoing, the sympathetic nervous system will continue to be triggered and leave one in a state of ‘high alert’. Of course, if you know the trigger to your stress, you can try to avoid it but often it’s not that simple. The only other way to resolve this is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the ‘rest and digest’, to restore calm to the body.

What does a state of ‘high alert’ feel like?

The most common symptoms are muscle and joint pains, headaches, chest pain, heart palpitations, tiredness and feeling faint. Some rarer symptoms are breathlessness and tingling/numbness.

If you are feeling any of these symptoms, it is always best to rule out any underlying causes by seeking the advice of your GP and undergoing blood tests. However, often these symptoms are unexplained and is the common patient we see in our Clinic – patients with what we call psychosomatic pain (psychological stress causing physical symptoms). I must stress that this pain is real!

So what can you do to help yourself?

There are plenty of self-help options available but it’s all about finding what works for you:

• Exercise – whether you choose walking, running, cycling, dancing or whatever you enjoy, there are many benefits. Apart from the obvious keeping fit, the release of endorphins (the ‘happy’ hormone) helps to improve mood and positivity and provides better coping mechanisms to deal with difficult times. Exercise also helps to regulate sleep.
• 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique – a mindfulness exercise where you focus on what’s around you. Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel/touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. The idea is to stay in the moment. It’s all too easy to be distracted by the busyness of life, dulling your senses, making you unaware of the sound of a river or the birds singing!
• Yoga – an early morning practice of yoga, calms your mind and puts you in the right headspace to deal with challenges of the day.
• Meditation – allows you to deal with your own emotions without being consumed by them.
• Breathworks – when you are under ongoing stress, taking faster, shorter breaths can become the norm. Using different breathing techniques helps to re-establish a normal diaphragmatic pattern. In addition, making the exhale longer than the inhale, activates your parasympathetics, ie. your body’s relaxation response. Read here for more help on breathing.
• Osteopathy/acupuncture/massage – reduces tension in muscles and joints, balances the nervous system, shifting the body from ‘fight-or-flight’ to ‘rest-and-digest’.
• A place for quiet reflection – whether a church, beach, forest or your own garden, it doesn’t matter where, as long as you can find a place to gain some inner peace.
• Support – whether through friends, family or support groups, a listening ear offers emotional comfort and reduces any feelings of isolation.
• Vibration – claimed to restore the body’s natural resonance, help balance energy and promote relaxation. This can be from the vibrations of sound baths (listening to the sound of singing bowls, gongs and chimes). Singing also creates vibration, in your vocal cords which resonates through your body, again activating relaxation.
• Singing – whether you choose to join a choir or just sing in the shower, singing will benefit both your mental and physical health. Singing requires controlled diaphragmatic breathing which as we know, activates the relaxation response. This is another activity that encourages the release of ‘happy’ hormones and is a good, safe outlet for emotions.
• Other therapies – not one size fits all, it’s a personal choice. There are many therapies available. You may choose a counsellor who can provide a safe, non-judgmental and confidential space for you to talk openly about your concerns. Others may find therapies such as reflexology or hypnotherapy suits them better.

Stress is a common problem which most of us experience at some point in our lives. However, if it is getting too much for you, please seek help early, before it becomes debilitating. Our team of therapists are always happy to offer help and guidance.